Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. 

– Oscar Wilde – 

I came across this quote recently, and though I have the feeling that we can all easily agree with it, it somehow struck me, at this particular point in my life. Yes, most of you know that I have been going through this transition towards fulltime practice of yoga and Ayurvedic therapy (still 4 more years before my final diploma!). But I wanted to delve deeper into this. Change is difficult but constant and becoming aware of it and embracing it full-heartedly makes the change « alive » and accepted. This happens within and with time. Discipline and dedication are the tools I used. However, the environment does have a huge influence on the process. My environment is being a woman, creeping towards menopause, handling a family, two jobs and studies and struggling mentally to bring up her children and live in accordance with her values with the daily threats climate change and current geopolitics throw at us every day. I believe many of you can relate to this. My yoga practice, constant gratitude for my health, that of my family, security, hope and faith help a lot, I must say. 

So, what has all this got to do with Oscar’s quote? Well, I saw myself in it. Today, while I do not, in any way, see myself as a saint, and despite challenges that are common to all of us, I feel that I am doing my best and this makes me feel fulfilled. I am doing my best to be me and react less, to live in harmony with my values and the yoga sutras as much as possible. I am doing my best to bring up my children to not harm this planet and other living beings and to aim at being themselves instead of accumulating, to find and cultivate peace instead of running the rat race and more than anything else, to be kind. And by making this effort, I feel good. But this was not always the case. I have always had these values. Yes. But youth and circumstance did not always push me towards self-improvement. It took me 40 years to begin acting upon my feelings.

I have sinned. Who hasn’t? I have lied, over-worked, stolen, harmed those I loved, put my career before the people I cared about the most, felt ambitious, greedy and jealous. I have mistreated my body and mind and soul. I have lost hope, risked my life for things that seem irrelevant today. But back then, my perception was different. And that is OK. Evolving means accepting the constant change in yourself. I have no regrets for my imperfections and my evolving ego because as long as I have another breath in me, there is also a future in front of me. There was a future for the sinner that I was. Change. What a beautiful thing. 

It is never too late. For anything. 

Yoga Sha